Karl Denson's Tiny Universe will be performing April 20 at the Daze on the Green concert at Denver's Sculpture Park. (Josh Elioseff, heyreverb.com file)

Hitting the High Spots: Perfect 4/20 week schedule

Trying to create a game plan for this 4/20 weekend is maddening enough to make your brain feel like the end of a just extinguished Hemp Wick. The Denver metro area is being invaded by bong-friendly bands and edible-eating event planners who all want your duckets. There are more shows on Sunday night than you can shake a Thai stick at, with festivities kicking off as early as Wednesday. All of a sudden, 4/20 has turned into your annoying friend who insists it’s her “birthday week.”

Want to make the most out of your marijuana weekend? Here’s my schedule of events that any stoner can pull off, provided you have a sober driver and a modicum of motivation:

Wednesday, April 16

Hitting the High Spots: The perfect 4/20 week schedule
Too $hort (Ethan Miller, Getty Images)
  • City Hall is one of my favorite venues, as it looks like a level from “GoldenEye” for Nintendo 64. When they have laser light shows I get nervous. Fortunately, the soothing sounds of West Coast rapper Too $hort will be present to chill me out at the Big Industry Show Afterparty.

    He’s the quintessential old-school Cali rapper to kick off a weekend that will feature acts much further down the smoker spectrum. And much louder. While hits like “BJ Betty” and “Freaky Tales” mean I probably won’t talk my girlfriend into coming, Too $hort is a legend. Although he’ll be hosting a party at the Diamond Cabaret the next night. Because he’s Too $hort. Also performing: Young Rapscallions.

  • Event: Big Industry Show Afterparty, April 16 at the City Hall Amphitheater, 1144 Broadway, Denver, $TBA
    Get there: TBA
    Logistics: Cabs from downtown are cheap, or hop on the RTD 0 bus.
    Get out: Last call.

    Events guide: The list of things to do in Colorado on 4/20 keeps growing. Read up on all the concerts, the Cannabis Cup, the symposiums, festivals and foodie fun

    Thursday, April 17

  • While Sexpot Comedy may sponsor my podcast (disclaimer), we receive no financial remuneration from the guys. I’m not even sure what the word sponsor means, apparently. They are throwing the highlight of Thursday, however, at the venerable Oriental Theatre. For its size, the space has a very DIY feel/smell to it, as patrons aren’t leaving the ganja at the door.
  • Headlining their monthly show is Andy Haynes, fresh off his appearance at the High Plains Comedy Festival. Haynes’ “The Half Hour” on Comedy Central was one of my favorite darker sets of the season, and his Twitter handle 2HAYNEZ always makes me smile. At $15, it’s also one of the best deals you’re getting on a weekend where getting “taxed” doesn’t just apply to recreational pot purchases. Also performing: Billy Wayne Davis, Nathan Lund, Ian Douglas Terry, Noah Gardenswartz, Brent Gill, and Jordan Doll.

    Event: Sexpot Comedy Presents Andy Haynes’ Midnight Run with Billy Wayne Davis, April 17 at the Oriental Theatre, 4335 W. 44th Ave., Denver. $15.
    Get there: 8 p.m. for comedians milling around.
    Logistics: 44 bus from downtown or a car service.
    Get out: When the taco truck leaves.

    Welcome to Denver: Tips for visitors on where to stay, how to get around and places to eat, drink, shop

    Friday, April 18

    Hitting the High Spots: The perfect 4/20 week schedule
    Pipes on parade at the 2013 Cannabis Cup in Denver. (Seth A. McConnell, Denver Post file)
  • There’s a lot of “art” that vendors will be pushing over the holiday weekend, mostly in the form of cruelty-free jewelry and dorm room tapestries. Meanwhile, I’ll be checking out the Big Galleria Glass Exhibition at the Denver Mart, where over 2 million bubblers, bongs, and big rigs (for a different type of “oil”) will be on display. I’m fairly milquetoast when it comes to glass, so I’m hoping for some inspiration to make the leap with some of the best blowers in the nation on hand. If I do score a new piece, though, I’ll be attempting a pit stop at home before what will no doubt be a raucous show later that night.
  • Event: Big Galleria Glass Exhibition, April 18 at the Denver Mart, 451 E. 58th Ave., Denver, $75 for a two-day pass
    Get there: 10 a.m. if you need to be a door buster, noon at the latest.
    Logistics: Lots of options. Check our Denver visitors’ guide for transportation details.
    Get out: 2 p.m.

  • For some reason, Ice Cube will be taking the stage with Action Bronson. While the former you’d recognize from everything from “Friday” to “Ride Along” to actual rapping, the latter would likely be confused for a guy who had over-medicated and wandered on stage. He’s also the guy I can’t wait to see. Bronson’s mixtape “Blue Chips” was an instant classic in 2012 and he spouts some of the best pot-related metaphors out there. “Turn the car into a sauna with some marijuana” seems effortless, and he never stops churning them out. If I have to sell you on Ice Cube, just don’t go.
  • Event: Ice Cube and Action Bronson, April 18 at the Denver Mart
    Get there: 8:30-9 p.m.
    Logistics: Don’t stray far from the glass show, then make a friend at the show.
    Get out: When security intervenes.

    Get the rest of the perfect schedule for 4/19 and 4/20

    Rapper Action Bronson performs at  Coachella  Indio, Calif., in 2013.  (Frazer Harrison, Getty Images for Coachella)
    Rapper Action Bronson performs at Coachella in Indio, Calif., in 2013. (Frazer Harrison, Getty Images for Coachella)