You have to love the sheer abundance of advice columns We the Curious have access to. The world at large has Dear Abby. Those curious about weed have (our very own) Ask The Cannabist. And readers of The Guardian have Ask Molly Ringwald, where the ’80s actress answers reader questions on modern social conundrums.
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And Ringwald’s no joke. The questions posed to her are legitimate — “I fancy my friend’s ex; should I go out with him?” and “My son’s dating the wrong woman; what should I do?” — and Ringwald’s voice is level, straightforward, compassionate and perfectly reasonable.
In this week’s question, a reader tells Ringwald of a marijuana matter:
My partner of four years and I are both in our 30s. When we met, he admitted he liked to smoke marijuana, but he has recently started to smoke more in my view, though he denies this. I hate it on so many levels: it’s illegal, I hate the smell of it, and him when he’s stoned – from a lively, energetic man, he turns into a lifeless shell. He says I’m overreacting, that it’s healthier than alcohol and chills him out more than beer does. We are very different people, me quiet and careful, him exuberant and jovial. I had thought we could complement each other, but his habit is putting a strain on the relationship.
And Ringwald shoots straight with the reader:
I would have advised you to put on some Bob Marley, light up a big spliff and chill out, but this would go against who you are. Just as you are asking your partner, the same man who was upfront with you when you met, to change who he is.
Later on in her answer, Ringwald talks about cannabis’ illegality — and that’s where she shares her own personal feelings on the matter: “I also won’t argue with you about it being illegal, though personally I don’t believe it should be, or will be for much longer. I don’t see much of a difference between using alcohol or cannabis, except that the former seems to incite a lot more violence. There doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of wars being started by pot smokers.”
So there you have it. Ringwald, best known for her turns in “The Breakfast Club” and “Pretty in Pink,” thinks marijuana should be legal — and that it will be legal soon. And she also thinks that if your partner admits his or her weed habit up front, your grounds to hold that against them later on is shaky at best.