25 things I learned from Weed Firm. (Manitoba Games)

25 things I’ve learned from Weed Firm

Published: • Updated:

By , The Cannabist Staff

As you likely know, Weed Firm quietly became the No. 1 free game app in Apple’s App Store less than a month after its release.

On May 20, less than a week after the free game hit No. 1, Apple yanked Weed Firm from the App Store.

It got us thinking: There are certain truisms in Weed Firm — and among those of us who play Weed Firm. What have we learned from the hours we’ve lost playing the popular game, letting the gangsters kick our butts, precariously watering the pot plants with small water bottles, paying off the cops, ignoring the advances of Jane the stripper and growing some premium Purple Haze?

25 things I’ve learned from Weed Firm:

1. You know that WFWs (Weed Firm Withdrawls) are very real:

2. Because everybody loves Weed Firm:

3. And we mean everybody loves Weed Firm

4. Even though Weed Firm is not good for in-class productivity:

5. Though that’s not keeping students from playing it at their desks:

6. Weed Firm is even worse for your battery life:

7. Amassing 1,000 weed in the game does not make you a master grower:

8. Buying a safe is the best Weed Firm move you’ll ever make:

9. The TSA says, “No weed on planes.” But Weed Firm is allowed on all flights:

10. Answer: Friggin’ everybody. Question:

11. Nobody likes a bully. And nobody likes bullies that are also gangsters:

12. Nobody:

13. You know you’re playing too much Weed Firm when you look like:

14. Or this:

15. You’re also playing too much Weed Firm when your friends start resembling your clientele:

16. You’re also playing too much Weed Firm when you start making up a language so you can talk about the game anywhere and everywhere:

17. You’re also playing too much Weed Firm when you start applying the game’s vernacular to everyday life:

18. You’re also playing too much Weed Firm when these 12 faces are getting a little old:

19. You’re also playing too much Weed Firm when you’re ordering Huf Socks:

20. You’re also playing too much Weed Firm when you forget the SPOILER ALERT tag when tweeting about a level others aren’t yet on:

21. Also it’s mandatory that you hate this guy:

22. And sometimes you find yourself flipping your phone off because of him:

23. Weed Firm would be better sans the lame sexual content:

24. And does your little brother even know what he’s (virtually) selling?

25. Truth: Weed Firm transcends actual weed use: