(Seth McConnell, Denver Post file)

Real police report: 1 gram of pot stolen

A female college student at Northeastern Junior College in Sterling had a gram of pot stolen from her dorm room and reported the theft to the Sterling Police Department on May 9.

Problem is, 19-year-old Aurelia Paici — a Littleton resident attending college in the northeastern Colorado town — isn’t old enough to legally possess marijuana in Colorado sans a medical license.

“She’s actually not old enough to possess the marijuana and didn’t present a medicinal card,” said Sterling Police Major Scott Annable, noting that Coloradans 18 and older can legally obtain medical marijuana with a state-issued license. “If we do recover it, and if it proves to be marijuana, we suspect we’ll charge her with possession of marijuana.”

The Cannabist contacted Paici on Tuesday morning but never heard back from the 19-year-old.

The pot theft happened somewhere between 7 and 7:03 p.m. May 9, according to the police report. Paici reported the theft at 7:11 p.m. that same evening – “of approximately one gram of marijuana in a ziplock bag, valued at $10, from 619 Landrum Ln. 224,” according to the police blotter on the Sterling Journal-Advocate’s website.

“She lives in the dorms at Northeastern Junior College and was moving out of the dorms,” said Annable. “In the process of moving out, she said she had a small baggie that included marijuana dust ‘that would barely cover the corner of the bag.’ She put it under her doormat, and someone took it.”

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The Sterling Police are waiting to see video footage provided by the college, since “there’s video footage of hallways at Northeastern Junior College and lobby areas,” Annable said.

One question remains, so we asked Annable if it surprised him that a 19-year-old would report her illegally obtained marijuana as stolen to the police. His answer was telling.

“It’s not common that someone would report that,” Annable said, “but I wouldn’t say I was surprised.

“Even before it was legal to possess, we would occasionally get people who would call and say their drugs were stolen. In this case, it’s still illegal for her to have it since no marijuana card was presented to us.”

There hasn’t been a significant increase in marijuana-related calls in Sterling since legal recreational marijuana sales began in Colorado on Jan. 1, Annable said.

Fake news: The report you have just read is true, but marijuana makes good satire fodder, as evidenced in our archives.