When America has questions about sex and sexuality, they often go to intrepid journalist/activist Dan Savage for answers. And when a 24-year-old heterosexual female called Savage on his podcast this week to ask his advice on an issue she’s been facing, Savage’s advice delved into the weeds.
“I’ve never had an orgasm,” the caller said, “and I’ve had amazing sex with guys I’ve loved … I feel like I’ve frickin done everything, and it still just hasn’t happened … I don’t know what to do. My most recent boyfriend was cool about it, but sometimes guys get hung up about the fact that they can’t get me off … I just want a fucking orgasm.”
After recommending a few titles from author Debby Herbenick — including “Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction” and “Read My Lips: A Complete Guide to the Vagina and Vulva” — Savage offered some poignant, compassionate and 420-friendly advice.
First he said: “Dump any guy who makes your orgasms about him.”
And then Savage talked about marijuana’s tension-relieving qualities: “So relax and enjoy and smoke some pot. Really, I’m not joking about the pot. Smoke a little pot. Sometimes tension — sex negativity, self consciousness — can really inhibit. And a little bit of pot — smoke some pot and masturbate or have some edibles and masturbate — it can really loosen you up, and that may be the missing link.
“That may be the piece that gets you there.”