An example of Golden Goat from a different Colorado dispensary (Ry Prichard, The Cannabist)

Golden Goat (marijuana review)

Strain Theory: Golden Goat

By the numbers: $9.60/gram, $150/ounce at iVita Wellness, 1660 Pearl St. in Denver

The first of the week is when we collect our green, and this time I wanted something completely different. Hoping only for a cool sativa, I got a strain I’d never heard of — Golden Goat. In the zodiac, Capricorn (the goat) is said to represent practicality and reservation. I could only hope this strain would not live up to its name.

We always buy a practical amount and let me say, it is way less than we’ve bought in previous years. I interpret this as an increasingly better quality product being available. Or maybe I’m just turning into an old lady. As part of our haul, we picked up half of an eighth of Golden Goat and to my delight, it was covered in a ton of orange hairs.

Read more Cannabist strain reviews: Blueberry, Triple Diesel, Girls Scout Cookies and more.

Unfortunately, the buds were still a little moist. I decided to cure them an extra day by keeping them sealed tight in the container they came in. In the morning I left the container open and let it dry out through most of the day, and that did the trick. Considering the price point, this tiny bump in the road wasn’t really that big a deal.

Golden Goat hits on a flavor that I refer to as “planty.” I’ve heard others use the term “earthy.” There are no fruity notes, and no sweet overtones. There is just a delicious and rich herbal taste. Smoking my chillum it went down without a single cough. I’m glad I took the extra day to cure it.

Halfway through the bowl I had to go downstairs to do some laundry. I felt slightly medicated by now. I was not a bungling mess by any means, but my chronic back pain — conquered! I headed down the two flights of stairs with a bit of a skip in my step.

Once I actually made it to the laundry room though, a little paranoia reared its suspicious head. The potted plant in the workout room became a creepy neighbor sneaking up behind me. This wasn’t an all-consuming feeling, just a momentary interference. I headed back up the stairs, my spirits up and rising!

The Golden Goat had been giving me the giggles until … I started the next episode of “Nip/Tuck” in my queue. I am re-watching it after years away. It has way more sex and surgery than I remembered — there’s the old lady part of me again. I still had laundry to collect and fold and I did this, despite my yawning. It was past my bedtime and this gal pal needed her beauty sleep.

Golden Goat surpassed its namesake. It was one-and-a-half hours of a mild euphoric smile-fest and 30 minutes of “cool down” before bedtime.