Fireworks (Andy Cross, The Denver Post)

The Onion satirizes, “Colorado legalizes medicinal fireworks”

Clearly national satire site The Onion was waiting until 4/21 — the day after stoner holiday 4/20 — to unleash its latest on the Internet: “Colorado legalizes medicinal fireworks.”

“Establishing Colorado as a pioneer in recognizing the therapeutic benefits of explosions,” the piece begins, “a new law passed Tuesday will allow state residents with a doctor’s prescription to acquire small quantities of medicinal fireworks.”

Sure, many compare marijuana to alcohol. But this might be the first time anybody’s comparing flower to fireworks — which is why the headline might bring a smile to your face.


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If the above headline didn’t make you smile try this quote, taken from the piece:

“‘Studies have shown that many patients suffering from chronic pain, glaucoma or debilitating terminal conditions have responded positively to fireworks, with most showing visible improvements in mood and well-being through repeated use; so my question is, why shouldn’t they be able to obtain small amounts of pyrotechnics safely and legally?’ said Sen. Andy Kerr, who authored the legislation that provides Coloradans in need with up to 20 ounces of bottle rockets, flying spinners, aerial shells, or loose flash powder each month.”

Hopefully that’s enough humor to help you forget about waiting in line for two and a half hours at the Cannabis Cup this weekend.