If, after 14 years of living in Colorado I finally had to go on my first hike, I felt required to do so under the influence of pot. I’ve never bought into the cliché that mind-altering substances make actually being in nature some sort of transcendent experience. For me, they simply make it tolerable.
As footwear, it would have been a poor choice, but as a strain of marijuana, Glass Slipper certainly served its purpose. As hard as I tried to channel my inner Werner Herzog, it was an entirely bearable time.
Glass Slipper by the numbers: $12.50/gram, $265/ounce at Organix, 1795 Airport Road, Unit A2 in Breckenridge.
Glass Slipper quickly became one of my favorite Cinderella 99 phenotypes when a caregiver from the mountains who I called Old Man Waterfall used to bring pound after pound of it to the dispensary where I worked. One time, a patient waited around for us to enter it into the system because they could smell the bag from the next room and wouldn’t buy anything else. To call the aroma intoxicating doesn’t do it justice.
Most of the nose is owed to Pineapple 99, a particularly tropical cut of Cindy that reminds me of that sugar-dusted dried pineapple you find in expensive trail mix. Dig a little deeper, though, and there are notes of mango and the green tang of freshly cut celery that taste more like a smoothie my mom makes mixed with a musky, extra-hoppy IPA. Always way too much celery in the smoothie if you’re reading, Mom.
Opening my pre-packaged gram, I’m again underwhelmed by what I couldn’t see in the store: mainly, that it has come in ten tiny nugs the size of Monopoly houses. At least give me hotels, guys. For what it’s worth, they have that trademark island-sativa coloration, albeit slightly more hairy than your usual Maui Waui. Generally, you’re looking for larger nugs than what’s in this package. I’m not even sure how these are possible.
Before we head out for the trailhead and my first hike, I sneak away from my friends to take a hit because I’m painfully aware that everyone in the crew will mess with me if they know I’m high. After much consternation on my part, I had begrudgingly agreed to this outing, and now the whole trip is about what a grump I am. A little marijuana is great for lightening my mood and I’m ready for adventure — not that I’d let them know.
Despite being woefully out of shape, I decide I want to attack the hill with reckless abandon, starting off at a pace that seemed ill-advised at the time. Then I notice a couple in their 80s, walking toward us with the assistance of arm braces, and deduce this is not the challenge I had anticipated. The Glass Slipper is truly setting the pace at this point, as it’s a body mover without much stone to weigh me down. Also, I’ve lost most of my brain-to-mouth filter.
This becomes apparent to my companions when a woman remarks “What a nice day!” to us in a meaningless, small-talking sort of way and I respond with, “Yeah, if you’re into that sort of thing.” It’s a talkative-yet-unfiltered high where I find myself prone to laughing way too hard at relatively innocuous statements. It takes us all of 15 minutes to reach the entirely unremarkable lake that is our destination.
“That was it?” I quip as I light a cigarette.
Overall, the Glass Slipper is a fairly effortless high that I find I love the more it leans toward sativa dominance. It’s not ideal for knocking out heavy pain or even intermediate-level hikes, but it’s a solid daytime or happy hour smoke for someone looking for a boost in mood, even if you don’t let anyone know what a great time you’re having.