Pot smokers usually keep their stash in a certain spot. I have a box in a cabinet so high I can barely reach it in a room that is shut off from my son by a baby gate. As a parent, I feel like my weed has to be on lockdown. We take precautions to keep cleaning solutions, sharp objects and hot liquids away from our children. Don’t we owe it to them, and to ourselves, to keep our medicine or recreational intoxicants away from them as well? And even though mine is in a childproof cabinet and way out of reach, I’m never really satisfied.
I’m not looking for childproof packaging either. My cannabis comes in state-mandated childproof containers as it is, so that part is covered. What I’m on the hunt for is a secure place to store those childproof containers. I want to know that if I turn my back my son isn’t going to somehow wiggle his way into wherever I keep my green. I’ve seen some parents who use marijuana but won’t keep it in the house and I’ve met parents who keep it on the kitchen counter. I’m somewhere in between, I guess, but I want to step up my game.
As a budget-minded mom, I enjoy being thrifty and finding ways to penny pinch. But sometimes there are items that you need to spend a little extra cash on. Here are a few marijuana storage options I’m thinking of utilizing to help keep my pot out of the hands of my curious kiddo.
Lock and key
First is an obvious and fairly inexpensive solution: a lock. This option would suffice for little ones. If you have older children, consider that they might get wise and find your key. I certainly snooped growing up, didn’t you? I know ya did. Chances are your child might/will/already has does some investigating of their own … so just make sure you really have peace of mind that your stash is safe and you’re not just fooling yourself.
The cheapest option I’ve heard of — and a Colorado-grown one — is a product called the Wolffpak Lock Away (pictured above) designed by Toni Wolff. She created the pouches to keep her prescription medications inaccessible to her young daughter. These are designed almost like a makeup bag but with lots of internal pockets. After putting your products inside and zipping up the Wolffpak, you simply secure the included lock. Don’t lose that key!
Similarly, LockMed’s Kevlar lockbag with combination lock, provides a safe storage solution, though its design is quite a bit more practical. There are no frills here and not many will mistake this bag for anything but what it is. Both of these would be great options for parents of younger children and both are available for around $40. As a bonus, they travel discreetly and easily.
Another lock-and-key option is a fire chest like this one by SentrySafe or their electronic version if you prefer that. For something a little more heavy duty you can purchase a double lock narcotics box by Medicus Health, a medical supply shop. The double-key entry requires both keys to be used in tandem to gain entry. These will all hold a modest amount of marijuana and can be yours for under $100.
However, if you are a collector (with a gang of stuff to keep under lock and key) you’re going to need something a little larger. I found this waterproof, fireproof chest made by Honeywell. This one is big large enough to store important papers — or an elaborate weed collection with room to spare for pieces. These aren’t going to cost more — many locations sell them for under $100.
Safes
The next security step up would be a safe. These are typically stationary items and quite a bit heavier and pricier than lock boxes. Safes aren’t all expensive and even the budget conscious could manage something on this list.
I found this super affordable one by Stack-On. It has a digital keypad and will time out after three incorrect attempts (which seems like a useful feature as long as I remember the code myself). I’d have to choose a code that my son would never consider – not a birthday or a house number, right? For about $75 I’d try this standalone safe.
If you want to be just a little bit cooler and drop just a little more cash — OK, a lot more cash (about $200), you can pick up the Viking Security Biometric Hidden Wall Safe (at the bottom right of the linked page). This one would need to be installed into the wall, which of course is going to come with added cost. But the sleek design makes it appealing to this mama. It’s a hidden safe too, so your children may never even know it exists. In all the nosing around I did, I certainly never looked behind any wall art. And the most fun feature of all — this safe requires a fingerprint match in order to open (although a key can override the system). I imagine this is the safe James Bond would keep his pot in.
Novelty Hidey Holes
No stash safety post would be complete without a novelty hideaway category. While some are more sophisticated, not all of them can be considered childproof and I am absolutely not recommending them as such. Repeat — I am not saying go buy a hollowed-out Coke can and think that’s going to deter a child.
The cheapest of these safety precautions at under $10 is the Hidden Wall Safe by U.S. Patrol. It appears to be a regular electrical outlet but turn the screw in the center and the socket cover pulls out, revealing a small secret space. I’d put this in a closet or behind a nightstand — somewhere a mismatched light socket cover isn’t going to be super noticeable. (And it’s obviously not smell-proof). It’s available tons of places from Ebay to Bed Bath & Beyond.
Cannabist Q&A: Fielding queries from readers about all marijuana matters
How about this Barska picture frame containing an inspired rendition of the Mona Lisa? This (not so) priceless gem is tiny compared to the original and if I’m reading the dimensions correctly it might actually be smaller than a regular sheet of paper. And it’s not even a miniscule copy of the Mona Lisa you’re buying, it’s just a picture frame. That might actually be better. Would a bite-sized Da Vinci be inconspicuous? No way, and I can’t imagine how it wouldn’t stand out like a sore thumb. But just a regular family photo displayed on the wall? For under $50, perhaps.
And to wrap it up, an attractive wall clock … or is it? The Gerstner clock wall safe tips the scales as the most expensive product on this list at over $800 from the manufacturer. It is also probably the most convincing looking novelty. Reviewers of this piece don’t seem to appreciate the quality of the actual clock but it does function, and I think it would appropriately keep your weed out of sight. This safe comes with a secret way to open it which is only described to the purchaser in writing when his purchase arrives in the mail. Intriguing … but I try to only solve mysteries under $300.
