Pre ’98 Bubba Kush
By the numbers: $14.29/gram, $390/ounce at GAIA Plant Based Medicine, 5926 E. Colfax Ave. in Denver.
If you live in the Denver metro area and found a black laptop bag downtown last night, please let me know. Yes, I literally had a “Dude, where’s my laptop?” moment after smoking some Pre ’98 Bubba Kush outside of the appropriately named Herb’s. The icing on the cake: Bubba was in there, too. Comedian Mitch Hedberg once joked it’s hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. I do not feel like dancing.
It started off all hunky dory with a trek down East Colfax to GAIA Plant Based Medicine, a medical marijuana center that added recreational sales on Valentine’s Day. A friendly staff, including a laid-back security guard who called me “man” was a plus, and although my budtender was only a month into the gig, he was both knowledgeable and honest when it came to the strains. Every jar doesn’t have to be a winner, so when he told me the Death Star wasn’t their best batch, I trusted his recommendations that much more. Their Black Cherry Soda smelled like a winner along with an interesting haze cross called Bubba Tom, but I wanted the original Pre ’98 Bubba Kush as I’ve been running low on good sleepytime indicas.
The bud structure was spot on, with small, spiked buds looking like miniature, handle-less maces ready to knock me out. On the purps spectrum — with a 10 being Grimace — this fell at a solid 3. That’s fine for this cut, but most are around a 5 with sugar leaves that would look like they belonged in the student body at Kansas State University.
Jar nugs can grow stale quickly when sitting at a shop, but the earthy and sweet tones were exactly the same as I broke up the first nug. Loading up a mini bubbler that was on hand, I missed some of the coffee notes that you can get from the Bubba, but it burned clean and was easy on the lungs.
I had been in the mountains for almost a week, which is to say that I had been out of my natural habitat. I’m a fan of “the great indoors.” Preferably located in the city. There was a stacked lineup of comedians at Herb’s for a Sunday night, so I figured a little smoking and joking were in order.
In retrospect, Bubba was a poor choice of companion.
A heavy body buzz kicked in immediately, but with few seats available in a packed house I was left standing. My laptop suddenly felt like a 30-pound brick baby strapped in a backwards bjorn, and I had lost judgement of time as each set seemed like it was running for 15 minutes. I think they were doing five to ten, but don’t quote me on that.
Then the combo of dry mouth and munchies hit simultaneously, so a trip to Marquis Pizza for one of the best slices in the LoDo district was in order. They’re about the size of my head, so I inexplicably ordered two and a water. Two waters and one slice would have sufficed. Again, the Bubba had me in a stupor that was best saved for a couch and the latest “True Detective.”
On the way back to the show, I decided to make a quick pit-stop to see an old friend bartending across the street at Armoury, or “Possible Laptop Location #3.” The body buzz had begun to fade, but I was ready to pack it in as I couldn’t help but yawn several times during our conversation. I made a half-hearted attempt to say some goodbyes back at the show and cabbed it to bed.
Pre ’98 Bubba is usually on the mellow side considering its heavy indica roots, so don’t be too intimidated, especially if you’re looking for some pain relief at the end of a long day. For me, it was the end of a long week, and that probably contributed to some of the meandering nature of the high. Legit Pre ’98 is a rare find due to all the knockoffs out there, so I suppose I should be more excited. But it’s hard to dance when you’ve lost your wallet.