The main thing to remember about Super Bowl parties is that they’re not about being subtle and Pinterest-y.
When someone mentions “chips” in the context of a Super Bowl party, it’s understood that potatoes or corn are involved, not kale. The cheese is in a dip or a grilled sandwich, not served with labeled flags. Think Snackadium, not Martha Stewart.
A Super Bowl party means junk food, TVs with the volume turned to 11, plenty of adult beverages and, given the states from which this year’s Super Bowl teams hail, perhaps also a nod to the newly-legalized recreational cannabis that gives new meaning to the phrase “super bowl.”
“Of course the two cities where pot is legal being in the game will give a whole ’nother level of festivities to think about,” said Denver promoter and uber-hostess Dana Cain.
“I haven’t smoked pot in 20 years, and I’m not throwing a Super Bowl party this year. But if I were, I’d want to have a regular food buffet, and a Stoner Bowl buffet with pot brownies and pot-infused, pot-themed stuff. Instead of a drinking game, you could have a toking game: Whenever Manning yells “Omaha!” you have to take a hit off the bong.”
Warming to the idea, Cain also suggested renting a karaoke machine for a living room halftime show featuring guests singing Bruno Mars and Red Hot Chili Peppers songs.
“And someone needs to make tie-dye Super Bowl shirts. And have a regular Broncos cake and a pot-laced Broncos cake, well-marked, and translucent orange balloons blown up with smoke inside!”
For a more traditional Super Bowl event — one that’s spiffy enough to mollify hosts and guests who still find bright blue and vivid orange a jarring combination — marketing and entertaining consultant Eliza Prall came up with lively ideas that don’t have to be inhaled.
Wrap your tree trunks with blue and orange crepe paper, she suggests. Prall likes the idea of buying a length of green felt from the fabric store, or a few squares of artificial turf, to use as a tablecloth under your Snackadium.
Her Game Day Playlist includes three Queen songs ( “We Are The Champions” is one), Ram Jam’s “Black Betty,” and Gary Glitter’s “Rock and Roll Part 2.” Want more sardonic tunes? Download “Seahawks Fan,” a hilarious parody by Seattle on-air personality and producer Bob Rivers.
Finally, don’t forget to be pragmatic.
Station large garbage cans wherever guests are eating, drinking and watching TV. You can label one “RECYCLING” for cans and bottles, but be prepared to fish recyclables out of the trash.
Tuck a couple of solid air fresheners in the corners of the party rooms. If guests smoke, follow up by spraying air freshener after everyone leaves.
Keep a roll of paper towels and a rug-cleaning product in each of the party rooms to do damage control
after an in-house fumble.
Use disposable plates, cups, flatware and napkins. That’s what the garbage cans are for.
Claire Martin: 303-954-1477, email@example.com or twitter.com/byclairemartin